Many modern women assume it is reasonable for them to want a man that is equal to or greater than them in monetary value or earning potential, since they say ‘women date up’. This thinking passes up a lot of “regular” men who may be loyal and have all the qualities they say they look for in a man just because of income. There are many men who work trade jobs or lower skilled jobs that are more physically demanding and/or have less flexible hours (ex. 12 hours shifts, weekends, 2nd or 3rd shifts, swing shifts, etc.). They may not be making the flashy income, but they are often able to make a solid and consistent living for several decades.

An explanation for this may be that there are more women in university than men, so they are likely the ones getting the $50k-$60k job right out of college. Then, if they are single, they build their lifestyle around that income. This may be why they want a man to be equal or above them since they don’t want to sacrifice the lifestyle they were able to create with their individual income.

Modern women seem to think that the things they value in themselves a man will value, but I don’t think it is the case. Women often are encouraging of other women who are “liberated” or “free” or “don’t conform to social double standards”. But, just because other women are backing your decisions and cheering you on, that doesn’t mean a man will have the same mindset and take you seriously as a long-term romantic partner. Many young men, although they will openly admit to having had many sexual partners, will also openly admit they will not date or marry a woman that has had many sexual partners themselves. Women will argue this point with men, but the men state it as a fact that won’t change.

This imbalance of income causes an imbalance in the household. From a Christian perspective, women are taught to be submissive to their husbands, and men are taught to love and care for their wives. However, this is lost in the modern-day belief system. Women expect the same care from a husband without changing their behavior at all, which seems quite contradictory. Below are the characteristics modern women say they desire in men vs. the characteristics they claim to bring to the table. The characteristics are what many would say constitute a good husband, but there are many important characteristics missing from the wife side that many man claim to want, including being submissive, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the household, birthing and raising children, being kind, humble, etc.

Desired characteristic of husband	Behavior exhibited
Loyal	Be “equals”
Funny	Make money
Attractive	Don’t have to cook or clean
Taller than them	Sex
Protector	Loyal
Provider	Ambitious
Family man	Confident
Good father	Desired by other men
Express emotions	Beautiful

My overall thought is that feminism and the equality of women and men has been harmful to successful and thriving lifelong marriages. Women think that they should be equal to men, but also want a protector and a provider. The two can’t co-exist. Men and women are different for a reason, and both genders play a specific role. There is a certain level of balance that is needed for a happy, cohesive union to be successful, and the qualities women are looking for vs. the qualities they bring to the table don’t add up.